"Hardcore UFOs" by Guided by Voices is the greatest song of all time. Yep.
These guys are inspiring to no end. From seemingly nothing-- during Bee Thousand, the band were all thirty-somethings, working day jobs, having families, drinking beer, and loving the Who-- GBV created an astounding amount of excellent music. Their story seems as dream-like as any great rock and roll creation myth, because everything about them is so very ordinary. They look ordinary. They come from ordinary Dayton, Ohio. They don't play their instruments all that well. As an ordinary, ungifted Ohioan myself, I find GBV's best work incredibly charming and reassuring. To me, Bee Thousand seems to say, "write good enough melodies, and maybe you too can be a star!"
Course, the melodies on Bee Thousand are far beyond "good enough." Every song on the record has at least one mega hook; most have three or four. Robert Pollard couldn't play like Page or sing like Plant, but he could write songs worthy of Lennon or McCartney with (what sounds like) effortless ease. "Hardcore UFOs" is the greatest song of all time because, in just under two minutes, it distills perfectly the power of GBV: the ability to be average and amazing at the exact same time.
Course, the melodies on Bee Thousand are far beyond "good enough." Every song on the record has at least one mega hook; most have three or four. Robert Pollard couldn't play like Page or sing like Plant, but he could write songs worthy of Lennon or McCartney with (what sounds like) effortless ease. "Hardcore UFOs" is the greatest song of all time because, in just under two minutes, it distills perfectly the power of GBV: the ability to be average and amazing at the exact same time.
Burbles of electric guitar begin the song. Then Pollard, voice reaching to the sky, comes in...
Sitting out on your house
Watching hardcore UFOs
Drawing pictures, playing solos till ten
The scene has been set. You can see Pollard and company on their roof, probably drunk, messing around with guitars.
The call to action comes next:
Are you amplified to rock?
Are you hoping for a contact?
I'll be with you, without you, again
So now they're inviting you to join them. They ask you about the most rock and roll question imaginable, and maybe reference the Beatles.
Cue the chorus:
Turn and run, the angel's calling
The scene has been set. You can see Pollard and company on their roof, probably drunk, messing around with guitars.
The call to action comes next:
Are you amplified to rock?
Are you hoping for a contact?
I'll be with you, without you, again
So now they're inviting you to join them. They ask you about the most rock and roll question imaginable, and maybe reference the Beatles.
Cue the chorus:
Turn and run, the angel's calling
You say when, and I say I'm falling
Up and down through broken down buildings
Back and forth, but please don't bother...
Movement, movement, movement... It's the perfect lead-in to what's gotta be a big rock moment...
AT ALL!
Pollard's voice holds the note, and the electric guitars flare up, and suddenly, you're rocketing to space...
Up and down through broken down buildings
Back and forth, but please don't bother...
Movement, movement, movement... It's the perfect lead-in to what's gotta be a big rock moment...
AT ALL!
Pollard's voice holds the note, and the electric guitars flare up, and suddenly, you're rocketing to space...
But there's a note flubbed. And the guitar seems to come unplugged. And who can hear what's going on, anyway? Everything is distorted to hell.
And so the epic collapses. The melody carries you through the rest of the song, and good times are had, but no "contact" is made. The band goes for broke, but in the end, they're just a bunch of dudes on a roof. Still: they're sure creative, aren't they? Guided by Voices represent the triumph of good times over technicality. "Hardcore UFO's" could be their theme song, and rock and roll's.
"Hardcore UFOs" is the greatest song of all time.
And so the epic collapses. The melody carries you through the rest of the song, and good times are had, but no "contact" is made. The band goes for broke, but in the end, they're just a bunch of dudes on a roof. Still: they're sure creative, aren't they? Guided by Voices represent the triumph of good times over technicality. "Hardcore UFO's" could be their theme song, and rock and roll's.
"Hardcore UFOs" is the greatest song of all time.
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